To Those Who Became Working Moms Before Me, I'm Sorry.
My 18 month old doesn't talk yet. I mean, he says "DaDa" pretty consistently, but that's about it. His doctor suggested we have a speech therapist do an evaluation for any delays as a precaution and my husband and I agreed, so we made an appointment.
Did you know that early childhood interventionists do house calls? Not only do they do house calls, but they ONLY do house calls. My first thought was, "Awesome. productivity and I don't have to get off the couch." Then I realized that people were coming over to my house to see my child's living and learning environment and to track his physical, cognitive, emotional (etc) development and the worry set in. MY HOUSE IS SO NOT CLEAN!
Back before I was a mom, I remember talking to a teacher about work/life balance and about the amount of "job" responsibilities that she actually did at home. She was a teacher, she was on XYZ committee and in charge of XYZ event on top of taking care of lesson plans and her family and herself in general. How on earth could this all be possible all at one time. Well, she mentioned to me that some part of her house was almost always cluttered. She could never keep up with all of it. I remember thinking, "Ew, seriously? Get it together. You can't live in a messy house!" Of course, I didn't say that, but I couldn't imagine how that would ever be acceptable. (This is my neat-freak speaking.)
Fast forward a few years. I have two stir crazy cats and a toddler who hasn't quite figured out how to put things back the way he found them. I have a full-time, sometimes have to stay after school for things or take work home, job and so does my husband. No matter how many times I try to keep things clean, no matter how often I tell myself I'm going to put things back immediately, the clutter just happens. There are almost always dishes in the sink, (and dishwasher) Zachary's toys are where they're supposed to be for all of 5 minutes before he decides to play Godzilla and knock everything down in one dramatic swoop, and it'll be a miracle if I ever see a laundry basket without clothes in it that need to be folded. All these things and dinner still needs to be cooked, bathes given, showers taken, and sanity kept. I judged all you other mommas so wrongly. I had no idea.
Thankfully, the early childhood specialist that came to my house is also a mom. So when I felt the mom guilt that said, "You're terrible for raising a child in such a sloppy place." She got real. "I totally understand. My house is the same. Just throw everything in the master bedroom and close the door." That was so relieving to hear for me. It said, "What you're trying to do is impossible. You've created a safe home for your child that is conducive to healthy development. Real houses looked lived-in, not spotless."
So this is me, being okay with dishes in my sink and toys on the living room floor. Because in this home, we play often, laugh constantly, and have all the fun we can just being together. And the laundry will still be there tomorrow.
Hugs,
Destiny
Did you know that early childhood interventionists do house calls? Not only do they do house calls, but they ONLY do house calls. My first thought was, "Awesome. productivity and I don't have to get off the couch." Then I realized that people were coming over to my house to see my child's living and learning environment and to track his physical, cognitive, emotional (etc) development and the worry set in. MY HOUSE IS SO NOT CLEAN!
Back before I was a mom, I remember talking to a teacher about work/life balance and about the amount of "job" responsibilities that she actually did at home. She was a teacher, she was on XYZ committee and in charge of XYZ event on top of taking care of lesson plans and her family and herself in general. How on earth could this all be possible all at one time. Well, she mentioned to me that some part of her house was almost always cluttered. She could never keep up with all of it. I remember thinking, "Ew, seriously? Get it together. You can't live in a messy house!" Of course, I didn't say that, but I couldn't imagine how that would ever be acceptable. (This is my neat-freak speaking.)
Fast forward a few years. I have two stir crazy cats and a toddler who hasn't quite figured out how to put things back the way he found them. I have a full-time, sometimes have to stay after school for things or take work home, job and so does my husband. No matter how many times I try to keep things clean, no matter how often I tell myself I'm going to put things back immediately, the clutter just happens. There are almost always dishes in the sink, (and dishwasher) Zachary's toys are where they're supposed to be for all of 5 minutes before he decides to play Godzilla and knock everything down in one dramatic swoop, and it'll be a miracle if I ever see a laundry basket without clothes in it that need to be folded. All these things and dinner still needs to be cooked, bathes given, showers taken, and sanity kept. I judged all you other mommas so wrongly. I had no idea.
Thankfully, the early childhood specialist that came to my house is also a mom. So when I felt the mom guilt that said, "You're terrible for raising a child in such a sloppy place." She got real. "I totally understand. My house is the same. Just throw everything in the master bedroom and close the door." That was so relieving to hear for me. It said, "What you're trying to do is impossible. You've created a safe home for your child that is conducive to healthy development. Real houses looked lived-in, not spotless."
So this is me, being okay with dishes in my sink and toys on the living room floor. Because in this home, we play often, laugh constantly, and have all the fun we can just being together. And the laundry will still be there tomorrow.
Hugs,
Destiny
Comments
Post a Comment